How to fix this or what to do or if I even want to to anything. I am just kind of lost. I wish things made just a little more sense, but they really just don’t right now and I hate it.
Why is the male species so damn frustrating? Like seriously. Or why do I bring myself into frustration situations? Maybe it’s just me.
For so long I kept a good guard up - yeah there were moments in there where it look like the guard might come down, but it never did. Not in a long time. But then, all of a sudden, it did.
Just poof, it was down and I let someone in. Not all the way, but still. And maybe this all goes back to me just putting the guard back up and kicking him out. Maybe. Maybe I decided to put the walls back up too soon and did so without really giving whatever could be a good chance, and I ended up here, wondering what happened and what went wrong. I don’t know if I can say that I’m hurt, because I really don’t know if I have a reason to be hurt yet. But, something isn’t right. I guess at this point I will say that I’m disappointed. And I don’t know. I just want to know what’s going on, is that too much for a girl to ask? Like come on, just be straightforward with me. I can take it. I’m a big girl. I’ve been hurt way worse before, and likely will be hurt again in the future. If you want to end it, then do so. Because it’s not fair to let me sit here wondering. And I’m not going to because I don’t want it to, and I’m not gonna do it just because I think you want to. If you want to, then you have to. The end.
I just want some answers.
This week could bring something, maybe. But I don’t even know.
I guess I just have to wait and see. Then again, that’s nothing new now is it.